Your weak referral game is costing you investors

Most capital raisers want more referrals.

But very few have a real system for getting them.

This was a buzzy topic at the 3 conferences I attended recently.

The usual ask - “Do you know anyone else who might be interested?” -often feels transactional.

And in a relationship-driven business like this, that approach feels off.

So what actually works?

Making your investors feel genuinely seen, valued, and appreciated - on THEIR terms.

That’s where the Five Love Languages come in.

If you want loyal investors who fill your inbox with future investors, give them a reason to want to.

That starts with how you make them feel.

Most people treat appreciation like a one-size-fits-all game.

But research shows something cool.

When you speak your investor’s unique “language of appreciation,” trust deepens......and referrals happen.

What’s Working: Using the 5 Love Languages in Investor Relations

Many studies have shown a fact.

When appreciation is expressed in ways that match someone’s preferred “language,” great things happen.

Satisfaction, commitment, and loyalty go up.

Here’s how to apply it directly to your investor relationships:

1. Words of Affirmation

Some investors need to hear that they matter.

Send a personal thank-you note after an investment. Acknowledge their contribution on a webinar (with permission). Reach out to tell them how much their continued trust means to you.

This isn’t fluff. Studies show words of affirmation are the most popular form of recognition in leadership and relationship-building.

2. Acts of Service

These investors feel valued when they're helpful.

Get them their tax docs early. Offer to walk through their portfolio. Record a simple video breaking down your next deal so they can confidently share it with a friend.

3. Receiving Gifts

This doesn’t mean expensive. It means thoughtful.

Send a book related to their interests. Offer a small thank-you package after a big milestone. Invite them to an exclusive investor event.

Gifts are signals that you’re paying attention—and that you value the relationship.

4. Quality Time

For some, nothing builds trust faster than a real conversation.

Spend time with them. Host a small, in-person meetup.

Call just to ask, “What’s on your radar right now?” These moments build closeness.

They feel part of something meaningful.

And if you thrive on spending time with supportive, authentic, and growth-minded syndicators, please consider joining the MoneyMental Community.

We spend time building mental toughness together.

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5. Physical Touch (Reframed for business: Personal Connection)

This one is about showing up in a way that feels personal and human.

Use their name in communication. Keep notes about their personal life, and refer back to their story.

Send a voice memo or personal video update.

Make sure they feel like a person and not an account number.

The Takeaway

The best way to get referrals isn’t to ABC - it’s to build deeper relationships.

Speak warmly to your investors. Help them in meaningful ways. Give thoughtful gifts. Spend time with them. Make it personal.

When you speak their love language, they stay loyal. And loyal investors are the ones who bring friends.

That’s how referrals become effortless.

Make today great,

Chris